My girlfriend Danielle lost a significant member of her family yesterday as her grandmother passed away suddenly from complications with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.
Over the course of the summer her grandparents took us in while we battled the housing market trying to get a house we could call our own home.
It wasn't easy as we had boxed up our entire lives into a pair of closets and a storage unit, but those few months gave us time to save up for this new house. We worked hard to get there and are really excited for our new place.
Of course Danielle has many more memories of her grandmother than I will ever have because her grandparents practically help raise her after her parents divorced. I spent several lunches talking to her grandmother and grandfather over this summer about how they always brought Danielle everywhere they went when she was much younger. It was fun to hear these stories of what a little trouble maker she was especially with her cousin.
Gram had life down to a series of repetitions that made it easy for her to still do everything for herself and others in her late 80s. She also had a series of phrases that her sweet caring voice echoed practically daily.
"Help yourself"
That was a phrase I heard six days a week before I left for work. She would be watching TV, pause it to say goodbye to me and point from her same spot on the couch towards the garage area where she housed snacks and sodas. There were always tiny bags of chips and a soda ready for me to take on the long hour and half commute before work each day. Every day I was blessed with the care of a snack for the long road ahead.
I began working 3rd shifts this year for less aggravation at work so when it was 8am and she spotted me in the kitchen she would let out the tiniest little startled gasp "oh. What are you doing up? Don't you have to go to sleep soon?" This also was almost a daily occurrence. I would repeat to her the same thing every time. "I'm normally up until about 10 Gram, then I go to sleep. Do you need anything?" "Oh no no. I'm good".
It wasn't one no.
It was two.
She wanted me to be very much aware that she didn't need any help and not to disrupt her routine.
But my favorite nearly daily occurrence was the phrase "You got wash?" I'll be the first to admit it, we got spoiled living there. You see Gram liked to still be active around the house and that meant keeping a very clean organized house. The washer and dryer were used daily. I usually let it build up for a few days then do laundry. Not Gram though. She wanted laundry done every 24 hours it seemed. 48 or 72 hours? That got her itchy to throw something of mine in the washer. When I would attempt to do it myself she would say, just leave it to which I would reply "I can do it." This was usually followed by her sense of sarcasm by saying "No no. The machine does all the work. Go go."
Again, not one.
TWO nos
Stubborn and convincing
Caring and optimistic.
That was Gram.
Typing these words is incredibly hard as I know these memories that I have from briefly living there are just that now; Memories.
I will miss the simple routine she laid out for each day. After a half mini Portuguese roll it was time to make the bed and watch the news. I can't believe she's gone so suddenly.
I am blessed to have shared some of these moments with her and I am happy that we got a chance to show her our new house on Christmas Eve before we started moving things over. She kept telling Danielle and myself "you guys are going to be really happy here" and proclaimed over and over how happy she was about us getting a home that checked off all the boxes for what we wanted in our first home together.
I'm happy that we got to have Christmas dinner together and share in some laughs and fun times even though we couldn't save the green bean casserole from being an absolute disaster of a dish.
Most importantly I'm happy for the way she helped raise Danielle into being such an amazing and awesome companion that I get to go on this life journey with.
We will miss you Gram.
I contemplated not showing any cards in this post and was typing up this testament to her just to keep my mind full of all these good memories, but my dad came over today to help paint some interior trim for us and I have to say, even if you aren't religious, God most definitely works in ways that just seem to show HIS presence.
After we closed on the house I said to myself that I wanted to treat myself to a key card for my collection and I had one eBay purchase shipped to my dad's house. I did this because I wasn't sure if we would finally be moved in or not yet. When he handed me the bubble mailer it came in and said "you got a package sent to my place yesterday" I had to chuckle when I opened it knowing what was inside.
Of course the first day of Gram being gone I get a package in the mail containing a 1/1 Andrew McCutchen Laundry Tag booklet card.
Yes Gram, I have wash.
